An interesting post on tape trees


From: gt8610a@prism.gatech.EDU (Hey kids! Guess who?!?)
Newsgroups: rec.music.gdead
Subject: re: Tape Trees

In article <145897@hydra.gatech.EDU>, you write:
>
>
> What is a tape tree? I understand that it has to do with taping shows.
> How do you get on one. I would like to get involved in tape trading but
> am never able to make shows.
> -thomas kimberly
>
>

I'm glad you asked that question. Tape trees are a little-known deciduous variety in the nightshade family. Various species hve been cultivated around the world for years, providing people with the essential tapes for all aspects of their lives. In scotland, for example, farmers have bred tape trees to produce the familiar "Scotch Tape" with the Transparent, Wide, and 2-Side species.

Duck hunters in the american midwest are of course quite familiar with the Duck Tape tree; they harvest the fruits of this fine spreading tree, open them with a hunting knife, and spread it on the ground beneath the tree. Unsuspecting ducks are attracted to the gray strips, and look closely at them to see if there are any bugs stuck to it (as they might find on a Fly Paper Bush). The tape sticks to the poor ducks' eyes, and they stagger in circles around the tree until the hunters dispatch the feathered creatures in the well-known "Duck Blind" ceremony.

As far afield as Papua New Guinea, tape trees have supplied other ceremonial materials. Who, for instance, can forget the riveting spectacle of cannibal tribesmen covering their faces with "Masking Tape" in last year's National Geographic special?

Musicians often carry an amulet containing the rare "Audition Tape" that can be found only on Albino Climbing Casette Tape vines. Despite the lack of any evidence of this helping, many aspiring musicians will refuse to leave home without it.

Farmer Max Points, in Dead Hollow, Michigan is of course credited with the discovery of the Audio Tape tree, which emits a pleasing snapping and hissing sound when the tape is peeled from the fruits of this noble plant. Even today people seek out Farmer Points, and can often be heard to cry, "What happened to Max Points?" when travelling through that fine state.

Getting on a tape tree is not as easy as it might seem, but getting off of one is nearly impossible; powerful sap makes each branch a death trap, and in the tape tree jungles of Brazil one can find the mummified remains of many a budding "taper", as the tapefruit harvesters are known in the local lingo.

Tape trading seems to be a harmless activity, and no home in america is lacking at least a few varieties of the Common Scotch varieties. Clubs exist to discuss and exchange tape samples, and one can often find such interesting varieties as "Police Line, Do Not Cross" tape at their events.

So next time you "tape up" a centerfold from that swedish art magazine, pause a moment and reflect on how that little tree affects so many aspects of your life. I know I will.


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